What matters most at work
external motivators, feeling valued, appreciation, understanding people
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Why do we go to work?
What gets us out of bed every morning? Is it fear? Fear of losing our job? Fear of failing? Fear of disappointing someone?
Or is it need? We have bills to pay, kids to feed, parents to take care of, dreams to fund.
Or maybe it’s passion. That burning belief that what you do actually matters.
But here’s the thing I keep asking myself about passion: is it really what will get us out of bed? Is it the magic ingredient everyone tells us we’re supposed to have? And is it more powerful than fear or need?
I recently heard Yuval Noah Harari, the author of Sapiens, say that humans are motivated by fear, greed, and hate. And several organizational entities thrive by pulling on those strings to move their agenda’s forward.
I sat with that for a long time. It sounded… true. And also awful. Fear, greed, and hate. Is that really all there is?
Years ago, I was sitting in a management training session, arms crossed, excited to learn yet skeptical.
The presenter was full of energy. Too much energy for a gloomy Monday morning at 8am, if you ask me. He smiled big and said: “Motivators are like love languages. Just like we all experience love differently, we’re all motivated differently.”
I was familiar with this concept. Two years prior to this training, I asked my team to take the 5 Love Languages assessment by Gary Chapman and share their results during a team meeting. My goal was to identify how people felt most appreciated and then use that information to show them that they are valued in the way that resonates with them the most.
The presenter continued.
“Most people try to motivate others the way they’re motivated. But it doesn’t work that way. You need to understand what matters to them.”
Then he pulled up a slide, one etched into my memory:
Meaningful Work
Compensation and Benefits
Work-Life Balance
Advancement and Growth
Company Culture
Strong Team Environment
Recognition and Reward
We were tasked with asking our team to rank each of the motivators listed above from most important to them to least important. The theory was simple: if you know what drives people, you can help them thrive. It’s the same reason I asked my team to identify their love languages and share them with the team.
I’m all in. This will be fun.
So, I sat down with my team one by one, asked them to rank their motivators, and listened.
And the trainer was right—people had different priorities. Some wanted growth. Others wanted balance. A few were all about recognition. So, I tailored my approach, framing every project to match someone’s motivator. “This project is going to make such a meaningful impact,” I’d tell the one who valued meaningful work.
And for a while, it worked. It felt good. People seemed happy, engaged even.
But then, something started to feel... off.
I slowed down and asked myself why I was asking these questions. Was it because I sincerely cared to learn more about my team? Or was it because I wanted to get them to do what I wanted? Or really, what the company wanted?
Here’s what I realized years later: this exercise isn’t about motivators at all.
What people actually want—what they need—is appreciation.
That’s it.
Not the “good job!” kind of appreciation that feels like an afterthought.
Real appreciation.
I see you.
I care about you.
You matter here.
When I thought I was motivating my team with that little list of priorities, what I was really doing was paying attention to them. Showing them I cared enough to notice what made them light up.
The motivators? They’re just the wrapping paper. The real gift is what’s inside: being valued.
This isn’t just me being sentimental. Frederick Herzberg figured it out decades ago with something called the Motivation-Hygiene Theory.
He split workplace factors into two buckets:
Motivator factors are the things that make people light up—recognition, growth, meaningful work. They remind us that we matter, that what we do matters.
Hygiene factors are the basics—fair pay, job security, decent relationships. The things we expect but don’t get excited about. Here’s the thing: hygiene factors don’t bring joy. They just keep dissatisfaction from creeping in.
If your paycheck is fair and your boss isn’t a jerk, you won’t be shouting about it. But take those basics away? Everything starts to crumble. Even the best parts of your job lose their shine.
Motivators, though? They’re what make people want to show up more dedicated. They’re what make us believe in the work. But only if the hygiene factors are in place first.
Motivating people doesn’t need to be complicated. It’s about understanding people better.
To do that, start with this:
Appreciate people.
Listen to them.
Care about what they care about.
Sincerely compliment them.
Give them confidence.
Show them hope.
Help them win.
That’s it.
Sure, tools can help—whether it's my list of motivators, relevant questions, or personality tests.
But who cares if you use the tools if you’re not actually invested in understanding the people around you? People will see through the act. At that point, it’s just a performance.
What matters most is showing up for people. Listening to them. Letting them know they matter.
In the end, fear, greed, and hate may try to pull the strings, but we have the power to choose what drives us.
What if we built our lives—and our organizations—on something stronger?
What if we chose hope over fear?
Generosity over greed?
Connection over hate?
Because isn’t that what we truly want? To do work that matters to us. To help others succeed, if that’s our role. To live lives that feel meaningful—not just at home, but everywhere, including work.
I used to be the woman absolutely crippled by fear—afraid of disappointing my loved ones if I chose the wrong career path, afraid of losing my livelihood if I lost my paycheck, afraid of losing my job and being consumed by humiliation.
And guess what? It all happened anyway.
What I learned is that avoiding pain isn’t the same as living with purpose. I spent so much energy running from fear that I never built the tools to face it. Fear controlled me until time ran out.
Now, I choose differently. I don’t get out of bed consumed by fear anymore. I know better than that.
Instead, I fight to choose joy. I fight to choose excitement, love, and creation.
And yes, I fall short—often. But what matters is that I keep fighting.